• Erica Saville

My Daughter is Fantastic and I Can't Take Her Anywhere

File this one under "Stuff We're Afraid to Admit"--which sadly is a pretty big file.

Of course you balance things on your head while you wait for the food to come.

I try not to say this out loud, because I worry that people will think I don't love her, but I really don't like taking my daughter anywhere. She is a smart, curious, hilarious, friendly bundle of spirit. She talks often and freely. She is unafraid. One day, all of this will make her an excellent CEO or president or entrepreneur or journalist. But right now, it mostly makes her a train wreck at restaurants.

At home, we have child-proofed. At home, she knows where all her things are. At home, she can run away from me butt naked without possibility of peeing on a stranger. The world--as wide and wonderful as it is--is just a string of opportunities for her to nearly bust her head open. Trying to keep my sweet angel close by and safe often leaves me physically spent. I can't eat my meal because I'm trying to keep her out of the next booth. I can't pass the produce section at the grocery store without a meltdown because she requires ALL the bananas and strawberries.

Please know this: I absolutely love my little girl. I love the sight and smell of her. Spending time with her is a gift. It is also exhausting, both mentally and physically.

I'm not admitting all of this to complain. I'm admitting it because I bet someone else out there feels the same way, but is ashamed. We see the Insta posts of the mamas whose children are peaceful and still in public. We read about how much they love their 1:1 dates. We see all the errands they can get done while maintaining pretty hair and clean baby clothes. And then we wonder why we aren't that mom. Why don't I have that much fun with a toddler at a coffee shop? Is there something wrong with us?

I'd like to think that there's nothing wrong with my daughter or myself, though I guess I can't guarantee that that's the truth. I can, however, assure any other mamas who feel this way that you are not alone! We're in this together! Together, just separately in the comfort of our own homes <3

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