• Erica Saville

A Mother's Psalm

I teach

I pray

I guide

I listen

As the Lord has done unto me, my love, I will do unto you.

But when her father and I forsake her

Lord I pray you take her up

As I have given of my body to sustain hers

So God has given the body of His son

Given unto death that I may have life

Why art thou cast down, o my soul?

Why art thou disquieted within me?

My heart knows a new form of lonely, though I am never alone.


I have not known sleep

But I have known love

Vulnerable, fragile love that walks outside of me and calls me “mama”

When I fear I am too weak

Oh God, my God, You remind me that MY ability is inconsequential

Though the outward woman perish

The inward woman is renewed day by day

I lift my eyes unto the hills

From whence cometh my help.

When will my help come?

My strength fails me daily

But thou, oh Lord, provides

…Foolish woman, have you not seen?

Have you not heard?

The God of all the universe has known you.

He searches my heart

He knows my soul

When I had treasure in my womb

He knew me

He made her heart to beat and her feet to dance

He formed each hair on her head that I kiss each night

Show unto me, Lord, the path of righteousness

That I may lead your daughter into your tabernacle

Rid me of idols, o God

Let your face continually be the One I seek

No man, no child, no dimple, no curl

Can compare to your greatness. Selah.

Help me show mercy, as thou art merciful

Help me give love, as thou has loved

Help me be a refuge and strong tower as thou has been, Oh God

Lord, may patience and tenderness lead me

All the days of my life

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

I cater to her needs, without her words

I’ve loved her, before her heart beat or her eyes became uniquely gray

How much more do you provide for me, oh Lord?

How much greater your love?

As thou has forgiven me,

In sin, in ignorance, in vain efforts, in rebellion,

So help me forgive

As she learns…and falls…and grows

The Lord will command his lovingkindness in this coffee…

(And the one after that)

And in the night His praises will fill my playlist,

And my prayer unto the God of this wife.

The Lord is my teacher, I shall not compare

He restores my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of parenthood by His standard.

Yea, though I walk through the store with a toddler who screams,

I will fear no evil

For thou art with me; deep breaths and your promises comfort me.

As I prepare a table in the presence of my family,

Please anoint my head with oil, til my cup runneth over.

Yet will I praise Him

That she sleeps through the night

Yet will I praise Him

When my body is my own

Yet will I praise Him

For her independence

Yet will I praise Him

When she can go down the stairs unassisted

Yet will I praise Him

For tomorrow’s energy

Yet will I praise Him

For the return of me…

Who is this mother of Eve?

A woman, a lost identity

A woman, spent, yet powerful.

Lift up your head, o ye mamas,

Be lifted up, ye life-giving vessels

That the King of Glory shall come in

Who is this King of Glory?

The Lord of hosts,

He is the father who upholds me. Selah.

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